One Direction: Up All Night Album Review

Cuppin' some man-boob

Album: Up All Night
Artist: One Direction
Genre: Dance-pop/Shitcore


0.5/10




Well that sucked.  Here's the deal with One Direction: they play sugar-coated, mindless pop, but they don't even do it well.  They could not even deliver a passable album with professional songwriters and top-notch recording and production tools.  I didn't think this was possible, but One Direction sullies the reputation of the Boy Band.
     I'm going to dedicate only one sentence to the lyrics.  The lyrics are literally all about the same thing: girls, breaking up with girls, dancing with girls, but never doing the nasty (except for that one line: "made a mess upon your innocence" that shit's gross).
     Musically this album is incredibly boring, with very little diversity.  Loud and annoyingly distorted synths are present in every song.  Some songs have acoustic guitar to add a "douchebag" effect.  "I Want" has a disgustingly bland guitar solo.  "I Want" and "Same Mistakes" have more "douchebag" piano.  "What Makes You Beautiful" is basically a catchy single that every other song on the album tries to emulate.  The singing is also remarkably unimpressive, with each song fitting comfortably in near anybody's vocal range.
    I would say more, but that's honestly it.  This album is bland and receptive from beginning to end, and I am worse off from having listened to it.

Jesus Christ

Fave Tracks: LOLNOPE