One Direction: Up All Night Album Review

Cuppin' some man-boob

Album: Up All Night
Artist: One Direction
Genre: Dance-pop/Shitcore


0.5/10




Well that sucked.  Here's the deal with One Direction: they play sugar-coated, mindless pop, but they don't even do it well.  They could not even deliver a passable album with professional songwriters and top-notch recording and production tools.  I didn't think this was possible, but One Direction sullies the reputation of the Boy Band.
     I'm going to dedicate only one sentence to the lyrics.  The lyrics are literally all about the same thing: girls, breaking up with girls, dancing with girls, but never doing the nasty (except for that one line: "made a mess upon your innocence" that shit's gross).
     Musically this album is incredibly boring, with very little diversity.  Loud and annoyingly distorted synths are present in every song.  Some songs have acoustic guitar to add a "douchebag" effect.  "I Want" has a disgustingly bland guitar solo.  "I Want" and "Same Mistakes" have more "douchebag" piano.  "What Makes You Beautiful" is basically a catchy single that every other song on the album tries to emulate.  The singing is also remarkably unimpressive, with each song fitting comfortably in near anybody's vocal range.
    I would say more, but that's honestly it.  This album is bland and receptive from beginning to end, and I am worse off from having listened to it.

Jesus Christ

Fave Tracks: LOLNOPE

Aesop Rock: Skelethon Review

Zero?  Is that you?

Album: Skelethon
Artist: Aesop Rock
Genre: Alternative Rap


8.8/10






“So what new music have you heard lately Kevin?”  “Well Aesop Rock’s new record is pretty great.”  “Oh you mean A$AP Rocky?  #PURPLESWAG AMIRITE?”  Yikes.

  Anyways, Aesop Rock has delivered a fresh product that retains his distinct cryptic lyrics but with some different production ideas and somewhat clearer themes.  His raspy flow still moves smoothly and effortlessly with a slight intensity, but on Skelethon the lyrics take the front seat for a crazy, clever, dark, and sometimes head-ache inducing ride.

     I’m gonna use this time to comment on the beats before diving into the post-apocalyptic world that is Aesop Rock’s lyrical mind.  On Skelethon Ian Bavitz takes the role of executive producer on his own record, employing live instrumentation for his beats.  “Leisureforce” has an opening guitar line, something somewhat strange, because the beats on this album act as a support system for the rhythm of the flow.  The drums have a fuzzy compression that adds to the dark mood to the record.  The drums on “ZZZ Top” are bangin’ all over the place, driven forward by a recurring tom-tom fill.  “Racing Stripes” starts out with a New-Orleans style brass sample that transitions into an old-school hip-hop beat and a shouted mantra “It’s okay it grows back!”  These beats are subtle for sure, but there is no denying their dopeness.

     Then there are the lyrics.  Hot damn.  “Leisureforce” explodes right off the bat: “Postcards from the bath paint leisure/As a cloaked horse though a stained-glass Saint Peter/Hack faith-healer, cheat death to the very end/Cherry wooden nickels on his specs for the ferrymen”.  The entire song displays image after image of everything from gore to death to religion to love to mothers (?).  “ZZZ Top” uses the alphabet as a vehicle for a journey of redemption and recognition: “Capital Z(ed), slowly maneuver the O/S is the most difficult to control/Finally O/Into the eye of Goliath you go”.  The lead single ‘Zero Dark Thirty” picks apart the entire rap game, assessing his role in rap culture and where it has gone wrong.  “Roving packs of elusive young become/Chock-lore writers over boosted drums/In the terrifying face of a future tongue/Down down from a huntable surplus to one” Ian shouts in the hook.  In the incredibly clever and funny ‘Fryerstarter” Aesop Rock likens Bob’s Donuts in his hometown San Francisco to a church, bashing organized religion by claiming fried dough offers the exact same comfort as religion without the whole opiate-of-the-masses shit: “Now the yeast, a phoenix in the partially hydrogenated/Equal parts flower, faith, healing/Might replace your previously nominated Jesus/But only if you privy to the following secret of all secrets”  On ‘Crows 1” and ‘Crows 2” Aesop brings up some incredibly dark images of death, with the first examining death from being affected by it, and the latter examining death from the point of view of a killer: “Watch your step/Watch your mouth/We all know the way that a punk goes out.”  “Homemade Mummy” also has images of death: “Gadzooks, punk’s dead, last good gut wrenched/Anennae sam cook, black book pushead/ Cat skulls stacked to the black hole sunset/Olive on a toothpick, Dagwood Bumstead” but it also has the most upbeat and inspirational line in the whole record: “Take the brain out/Leave the heart it”.  He’s describing how Egyptians used to mummify corpses, leaving the heart in to be weighed in the afterlife, but its really a metaphor on how one should live their life, to follow your passion, your heart, before logic.”

     Overall Skelethon shows Aesop Rock’s incredible lyrical ability, smooth flow, and producing skills.  The beats pull you in and keep you engaged, and the lyrics make you stop and think and decipher.  Aesop Rock will keep on going “on and on and on and on and on…”

Fave Tracks: Lesiureforce, ZZZ Top, Zero Dark Thirty, Fryerstarter, Crows 1, Racing Stripes, Homemade Mummy

Green Day: "Oh Love" Track Review


Green Day proved something with 21st Century Breakdown, if you are a big enough band, you can produce a poor record and still garner acclaim and fandom.  When I found out that Green Day were going to put out three records one after another, I was worried, and now, to be frank, I'm even more worried.  "Oh Love", the first single off of the first record, ¡Uno!, is about the simplest, most bare-boned song Green Day has ever recorded.  It follows every Top 40 rock rule in the books.  The lyrics are straightforward for the most part, suffering from some questionable grammar that doesn't quite hit the ear right, and delivered with the recognizable BJA power pop shout, except watered-down.  It's a song that is shaky, and even longtime fans may end up scratching their heads, asking "that's it?"

Frank Ocean: channel ORANGE Review

Frank "Orange"?

Album: channel ORANGE

Artist: Frank Ocean

Genre: R&B/Neosoul

7.9/10

     “I feel like a free man.  If I listen closely… I can hear the sky falling too.”  Say what you will about Frank Ocean’s letter, that it was a publicity stunt, that the timing of the release matched too perfectly with the release of his album, the letter itself is moving and a complete testament to Ocean as a person.  The letter itself is a perfect intro to the themes of sexuality, love, despair, and hope present in Channel Orange.  On Channel Orange Ocean takes us through stories and situations ranging from falling in love with a drug dealer to the story of a lowly prostitute working down by the Luxor in Las Vegas, using a beautiful alto and a little help from some big names, André 3000, John Mayer, Tyler, the Creator, and Earl Sweatshirt.  The messages and ideas are pretty clear on Channel Orange, but the question is, are they executed well?

     Channel Orange is, by definition, a Rhythm and Blues album, but there are more aspects underlying these songs.  “Super Rich Kids” features a choppier, quarter-note based groove that moves closer to hip-hop than to soul or R&B.  “Sierra Leone” has a incredibly filtered drum part with acoustic guitar flourishes.  ‘Crack Rock” features a jazz-hop groove, with a lay-back drum beat and punchy organ hits.  ‘Pyramids” is the craziest example however, employing a strong electro influence, relying on a synth line that would not seem out of place on a dance track.  There is definitely something to be said for the diversity of sounds here.

     But for all of the influences and separate samples and ideas, I found myself wanting more, with some songs displaying an interesting sonic direction that would not be heard again on the album.  Not that I would want to hear an entire album of ‘Sweet Life’, but this album seem to have it’s fingers in many different cookie jars.

     The lyrics of this album follow a pattern, and it is very clear that this album is meant to be heard exactly in order.  “Sierra Leone”, “Sweet Life”, “Not Just Money”, and “Super Rich Kids” all follow the theme of how riches corrupt lives.  In “Sweet Life” Ocean swoons and swells about a girl living in the lap of luxury, ignorant of the world around her: “Why see the world?/When you got the beach.”  The interesting “Not Just Money” is a minute-long rant rant running counter to “Sweet Life” from one of Ocean’s friend’s mothers: “It’s the difference between having a home/and living on the streets”  “Super Rich Kids” is actually a story narrated by Earl Sweatshirt and Frank about a dumbass rich kid who crashes his dad’s Jaguar.  Earl does an admirable job and is given the responsibility of writing the hook, and in a slow, disgusted voice he raps: “Too many bottles of this wine we can’t pronounce/Too many bowls of that green, no lucky charms”.  After that we have a 2 songs about drugs ruining relationships.  “Pilot Jones” lets the listener experience a relationship with a drug dealer, “the pot dealer with the sweetest kiss I’ve ever known”  Ocean dubs his voice over the chorus to create a dark chorus that illustrates the emotion of the relationship nicely.  The album’s final tracks really showcase the themes personal to Frank himself.  On “Forrest Gump” Frank uses Jenny’s relationship with Forrest as a metaphor for his own love life, choosing to sing through the perspective of Jenny, making a statement about the trials of his sexuality.  But the best song by far on this LP is the hauntingly beautiful “Bad Religion”.  From the moment that organ holds down the opening chord until the last hand claps the hairs on my neck stand on end.  It’s such a simple story, Ocean is sitting in a cab, hoping to vent some of his fears, but only finds more confusion and distress: “He said ‘Allahu akbar’, I told him don’t curse me/’bo bo you need prayer’, I guess it couldn’t hurt me/If it brings me to my knees/It’s a bad religion/This unrequited love/To me it’s nothing but/A one-man cult/And cyanide in my Styrofoam cup/I could never make him love me.”

     There are really some standout tracks here, and that’s somewhat of a problem.  Other songs have so much potential with such songwriting, but the final execution sometimes comes off as dull.  The production is varied, and while every song here has merit, not all come together into one cohesive idea.  Tracks like “Sierra Leone”, “Monks”, “Super Rich Kids”, and “Pyramids” did not hit me nearly as hard as tracks like “Lost” “Sweet Life” or “Bad Religion”.  It’s a very good effort, but it’s just shy of a great effort.  7.9 channels out of 10.

Lil B: Green Flame Review

#TYBG

Mixtape: Green Flame
Artist: Lil B "The BasedGod"
Genre: Basedrap/Basedfreestyle

BASED/10

Swag to the maximum.  Lil B can fuck my bitch any time.

Tom Milsom: Explorers 6 Review

I get it....

Album: Explorers 6
Artist: Tom Milsom
Genre: Experimental Indie-pop


7.2/10

    

     From what I can tell from Explorers 6 Tom Milsom’s mind moves a mile a minute.  “Hey what if I used one of those kiddy pianos?  Let’s have me play a simple chord progression on my mandolin a distorted bass tone pulses in the left earbud only.  You know what would make this song sound good?  Stream of consciousness all over this bitch”  Tom Milsom sounds like Panda Bear’s understudy, employing some experimental chops similar to Animal Collective and synth skills similar to Geographer.

     Explorers 6 is a short album, I would classify it as an EP.  At only 6 songs, Explorers doesn’t have a long time to establish its ideas and impress.  “Smell” opens up like a clearer track on Merriweather Post Pavilion with a frantic group harmony and noddly wall-of-sound synthesizers and noises.  It’s rooted in pop however, as Milsom’s British serenade employs simple melodies juxtaposed against the frantic nature of the instruments.  At a certain point a bass tone that follows it’s own tempo plays along with the song, just adding to the confusion.  Milsom’s vocals jump from airy to clear at multiple spots within the song.  “Cherub” is calmer, but we hear some clearly electronic drums filling the beat, and it’s too bad that Milsom couldn’t take some time to alter the tone of the drum machine, because in all honesty the snare drum sounds dead, at least until the song picks up halfway through, and live drums take its place.  “Live in Spite” inches towards acoustic synthpop.  It’s definitely much less experimental, but it suffers like “Cherub” does with a poor drum tone for a good portion of the tune.  The melody is choppy, in a good way, and the song evokes more emotion than any other song so far.  The 7 minute “Lines” builds off the same synthpop background, with some rawer textures from the flute, percussion, and Glockenspiel.  It’s definitely the “epic” of the EP, and marks a crescendo musically, lyrically, and emotionally.  “Faster” revists that experimental AnCo-like sound, beginning fast paced and with Milsom switching off with himself singing the word ‘faster’.  But the weirdest and biggest leap for Milsom is his spoken-word noise-beat ‘Fiberglass Baby’ that has Milsom play creepy piano lines with deep quiet electronic bass tones and marching snare drums.  The spoken-word aspect is fresh, but not especially interesting, as the lyrics are delivered like a stream of consciousness with little rise or ebb of emotion in its delivery.  Also I found his closeness to the mic to be an affront to the listener, perhaps intentionally, but nonetheless it was a turn-off.

    Lyrically there’s some cool stuff going on here.  “Smell” talks about memories linked to senses. Even if one can’t remember something specifically, a smell can evoke emotion and memory of anything and everything.  “Cherub” has the innocence of cherubs offending the weak and evil nature of man.  “Lines” has a recurring line that introduces each verse, but changes it slightly.  “Did a line off your chest and it made me feel better.”  “There’s a lion in your chest and it makes you feel better.” “Now I’m lying on your chest and it makes me feel better.”  It’s a song about two lovers working their relationship out and attempting to better themselves in the process.

     Overall Tom Milsom delivers some cool ideas, but the term ‘experimental’ may not be entirely accurate to do the strong pop influence and similar sounds to other bands.  It’s a group of solid songs for the most part, and was enjoyable to listen to besides the closing track.  I’ll give it 7.2 Explorers out of 10.  Hey, it’s more than 6.

FAVE TRACKS: Smell, Lines

Japandroids: Celebration Rock Review

Adorbs.

Album: Celebration Rock
Artist: Japandroids
Genre: Noise-rock


8.6/10






 Celebration Rock begins and ends the exact same way, with the sound of distant fireworks exploding.  It’s a surprisingly vivid and powerful mantra that encapsulates the entire mood of album.  It’s an album that celebrates where Japandroids have been, where they are, and where they are going.  Recorded completely live and with minimal mixing/dubbing, Celebration Rock stands out as a record that follows a simple formula, mix fuzzy guitars with emotionally charged vocals and punk-injected drum work.  Grandiose from start to finish Celebration Rock brings something uniquely them and executes impressive songwriting chops.

    The record opens up with the party-anthemic “The Nights of Wine and Roses”.  The two members of Japandroids confidently lead a night of drinking and pot-indulgence, but make the act seem so much nobler than it is.  They sing about how they will drink their cares away until they finally grow up, but they will enjoy their nights of wine and roses until they just can’t anymore.  “Fire’s Highway” introduces a recurring theme, Hell.  The idea of burning and writhing and searching for a way out of hell comes back in multiple songs, with each ending triumphantly, matching the tone of the song.  “Hearts from hell collide/On fire’s highway tonight/We dreamed it, now we know.  “Fire’s Highway” also employs some more noisy elements, with Brian King doing something ungodly with his guitar strings.  “Evil’s Sway” is a song about comparing passion with evil.  It’s more fast paced, allowing David Prowse to show off some drumming chops as Brian sings about seeing “sexual red”.  The punk-influence is shown off more on “For the love of Ivy”, and actually recalls a blues song in the style of drumming and singing employed.  The guitar busts out a simple chord riff before dropping out and allowing Brian to sing, a technique reminiscent of a classic blues-rock song.  On ‘Continuous Thunder” we have the most melodic sounds, making it a standout track.  This song edges closer to pop than any song on the LP.  The drums bang out a marching style snare drum beat, as King swoons and recalls sounds of singing droning like continuous thunder.  Japandroids have earned their spot as one of the frontrunners in the noise-punk scene.  Their songs are simple but not juvenile.  Rooted in bare-bones rock and roll, Japandroid songs sound anthemic without sounding rehashed.  It’s a fresh take on an old style of songwriting, putting chords together with simple arrangements and strong vocals to convey a message clearly.  Beautiful noises clutter and clash and fight in each of these songs but they always resolve at one point or another.

     The lyrics make this record as well.  This entire album is a recollection of Japandroids earlier work, but there’s definitely a sense of maturity here.  The lyrics on Adrenaline Nightshift are simply poetic with lines like: “Whoring my heart/On the wings of a western night/Busting my guts/On a riot dose of paradise” or: “Hitchhiked to hell and back/Riding the wind/Waiting for a generation’s bonfire to begin/When the plunder of the poets/thunder of a punk’s guitar/Beat life to my body/Sulking drunk at the back of a bar”.  The single “The House That Heaven Built” employs an easy to sing along to, easy to be inspired by chorus: “When they love you, and they will/Tell em all the love in my shadow/And if they try to slow you down/Tell em all to go to hell”.  Such simple words can and are filled with emotion and meaning, especially with the shouted delivery of Brain King.

    This record is an impressive take on the Japandroid sound, with some strong lyrics.  I thoroughly enjoyed this record.  I thought that while it employed simplicity, it did not bore or suggest that these two musicians do not have talent.  A strong sophomore effort, 8.6 celebrations rocked out of 10.

FAVE TRACKS: The Nights of Wine and Roses, Fire's Highway, The House that Heaven Built, Continuous Thunder

Baroness: Yellow and Green Review

Album: Yellow and Green

Artist: Baroness

Genre: Stoner/Sludge Rock

6.5/10

Yellow: 7.5

Green: 5.5

    

    The colors yellow and green are right next to each other in the spectrum, so it’s no surprise that Baroness would name their double album Yellow and Green.  The two CDs both take similar routes to the same goal.  It’s a double album.  A feat not too many bands are able to pull off.  Now add the extra challenge of a band trying to reach a new division of fans outside of the 18-25 stoner boy range and you have a hell of a lot to pull off.  Yellow and Green is an album that tried, oh it tried, to pull it off, with some disappointing results.  Clocking in at a short-for-a-double-LP 70 minutes, each CD contains almost the same amount of material, each 35 minutes with 9 songs, but the second CD is far worse than it’s predecessor, leaving behind brash vocals and epic distorted riffs and solos for half time ballads, acoustic instrumentation, and vocals that would fit comfortably in a generic alternative rock band’s setlist. 

      Yellow begins very strongly, opening with a calm guitar intro that leads into a loud crash and classic Baroness-style riffage.  John Baizley howls on ‘Take My Bones Away”, confidently proclaiming that his soul will find his body no matter what.  It’s an epic song that shows promise for the entire album, exuberating confidence.  “March to the Sea” follows with a melodic guitar line, entering a sixteenth note tom and guitar playoff that couples greatly with the echoic and unusually melodic vocals of Baizley.  The album loses steam, however, with the track “Little Things”, with a odd disco-beat, only to be picked up at the solo, with a wah-heavy line as the very high point.  The next three tracks don’t showcase anything at all.  “Twinkler” sounds just like its name.  “Cocainium” suffers from another long intro and weird drum beat.  “Back Where I Belong” continues this ballad-limbo song style for nearly 7 more minutes.  “Sea Lungs” returns to the intensity of the first tracks, and “Eula” ends the record a little stronger, proving to be the only half-time ballad on the entire double album to impress with its emotion and intensity.

      Green begins with it’s own “Green Theme” as Yellow began with “Yellow Theme”, and it’s a pretty good opener, switching from a calm ambiance similar to the previous theme with two cadences of a loud symphonic sounding burst.  “Board Up the House” couples climbing guitar lines with clear vocals.  It’s a song about hiding from something scary and unknown but the song itself doesn’t portray the same emotion quite as much as I think Baroness would like.  Then we reach another three-track lull with quite honestly forgettable songs.  The combination of acoustic guitar with almost lullaby vocals and power ballad instrumentation is not unlistenable, but it does bore.  “Psalms Alive” is a very confusing song, with the drums sounding almost electronic, and the rhythm section is quite discordant, but not in a thought-out strong contrast, but more of a muddy idea.  The instrumental “Stretchmarker” showcases some acoustic chops, but the twang is too much and it sounds out of place.  “The Line Between” is by far the best song on Green, upping the intensity once again while retaining a melody.  Green ends with another instrumental tune whose chord changes are beautiful and rich, the tone sadder but still dark. 

      I believe that the theme of Yellow and Green that Baroness was trying to get across was one more timid than the last two records.  Baroness wanted to take a step back, to inject more emotion, and to deliver something fresh and more expansive.  Sadly many of these songs suffer from muddy tones and failed implementation of ideas.  Baroness delivered some truly memorable material in their last two records, but not so much on this one, which is really too bad considering how much potential these guys had.  Baroness really shot for the moon.  I’m giving them a 6.5, with a subscore of Yellow: 7.5 and Green: 5.5.

FAVE TRACKS: Take My Bones Away, March to the Sea, Sea Lungs, Eula, The Line Between

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GdaTrP6hOE  <= March to the Sea
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O4D5jNzv28  <= Eula

Fiona Apple: The Idler Wheel is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More than Ropes Will Ever Do Review

Album: The Idler Wheel...
Artist: Fiona Apple
Genre: Avant-garde Piano Singer-Songwriter


9.4/10




     In the trailer for Katy Perry’s new movie, Katy confidently thanks her audience “for believing in my weirdness”.  This is the biggest bullshit statement ever.  Why am I bringing this up?  Because I just recently listened to an actual weird (unique’s a better term) female singer-songwriter, not the one that churns out generic pop tunes like Kraft churns out cheese, but the one whose uniqueness comes through the music, not through a cupcake bra.  Fiona Apple has released an album that is as accessible as it is odd, as polished as it is raw, and it’s as much a triumph as a tragedy.

     The Idler Wheel is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More than Ropes Will Ever Do’s album name is a journey in itself, and it embodies a main theme of the record, that pain drives and shapes behavior, memories, and even personalities.  Fiona Apple delivers a group of songs that build off of a very constricted instrument set.  There’s just an upright bass, percussion, and of course, piano.  The instruments are recorded with a very airy quality, and it’s very apparent that these were recorded live and with minimal mixing.  It’s raw and almost barren, but not in a bad way.  On the lead single “Every Single Night” Fiona howls along with a bare bones piano part coupled with the sound of air rushing and swirling, swelling along with the accents and fluctuations of the song.  “Left Alone” opens up with a pounding drum intro, transitioning into a bluesy piano line.  “Periphery” ends with the repeated sound of something ripping.  “Jonathan” is incredibly creepy, with a minor melodic piano elevated by what sounds like a shipyard.  Some stark images are created just with the minimal instrumentation.

     Fiona’s lyrics are showcased strongly thanks to subdued instrumentation.  Fiona sings, howls, and screams through each of these songs.  Her voice is a roller coaster of emotion, and the clarity of her vocals allows the listener to easily decipher and relate to the lyrics.  On “Daredevil” Apple laments on her extreme nature: “I guess I must just be a daredevil/I don't feel anything until I smash it up/I'm caught on the cold, caught on the hot/Not so with the warmer lot.”  “Jonathan” is a haunting ballad about Fiona Apple’s struggles with her love for her ex-boyfriend: “Jonathan, anything/And anyone that you have done/Has gotta be alright with me/If she's part of/The reason you are how you are/She's alright with me”.  “Periphery” allows Fiona to vent against the mainstream music industry and her fall out of the spotlight in the late 90’s using the medium of a breakup song: Go to the periphery/Have them celebrate your name/Have them forge you a pedigree and then you'll be/Left to run the races lame.”  The most powerful lyric, however comes from the angriest song on the album, ‘Regret”.  In the chorus Fiona brutally and without filter screams “I ran out of white dove feathers/To soak up the hot piss that comes through your mouth/Every time you address me”.  Her lyrics are clear cut, but they are delivered with poise.  The album is a journey through the mind of Fiona.  It’s a monologue that addresses the very core of how emotion drives us.

     Fiona has delivered an incredibly sophisticated album from each direction.  Each lyric is carefully executed, and the album rises and swells, slows and speeds to match the emotion of the peace.  An incredibly personal and moving piece of work, The Idler Wheel…’s textures and passion solidify it as one of the best albums so far this year.  Ending with a round of Fiona overdubbing herself over and over again to create a near wall-of-sound, The Idler Wheel concludes how it begins, on a journey.  9.4 Idler Wheels out of 10.


FAVE TRACKS: Every Single Night, Daredevil, Valentine, Left Alone, Periphery, Regret, Hot Knife

Britney Spears: Femme Fatale Review

Shoulda stayed bald...

Album: Femme Fatale
Artist: Britney Spears
Genre: Dance/Pop


3.8/10

    “Thumbs up if you listen to real music like Good Charlotte instead of this auto-tuned crap!” –average 15-year-old boy commenting on a Britney Spears video.  One thing that bugs me more than anything else are people who claim that pop music played with guitars is somehow automatically better than pop music with more production.  To criticize Britney Spears for not “writing her own songs” or “using auto-tune” or “for not using ‘real’ instruments” is frankly not valid.  Frank Sinatra didn’t write his own songs and he’s considered one of the greatest singers of all time.  Kanye West uses auto-tune and he’s an amazing rapper/producer.  Justice and Daft Punk are completely electronic and they make some of the best music I’ve ever heard.  I just wanted to make sure that when I review this album I’m going to evaluate it on how it SOUNDS and how well it was WRITTEN, not on silly prerequisites like “using real instruments”.

     That being said, Femme Fatale is an album that fails to do it’s simple goal, get people to dance, and fails to capture my affection.  Femme Fatale is an album that borrows elements from dance, trance, house, dubstep, and disco, and mixes them together in a mush pot that for the most part confuses and bores.  The first two tracks, ‘Till the World Ends” and “Hold it Against Me” are the two songs everyone’s heard, and for good reason, they’re by far the best tracks on the record.  “Till the World Ends” employs a simple beat that draws heavily from the most accessible house music around.  It serves its purpose, employing a catchy chorus with a simple melody and danceable beat.  The opening lyrics are actually clever: “This kitten got your tongue tied in knots, I see/Spit it out ‘cause I’m dying for company.”  It’s the first string in many, many, MANY, sex-oriented lyrics.  “Hold it Against Me” also serves as a passable dance track, using a very thinned dubstep line, and the breakdown actually recalls some glitch house.  The lyrics made me groan though: “If I said I want your body now/Would you hold it against me?”  (I see what you did there).  It starts to thin out though, and before I knew it I was at the end of the album, and literally every single song was about sex and dancing, which would be fine, except the lyrics didn’t take any new turns.  They just started getting lazier.  “(Drop Dead) Beautiful” is an unbelievably horrible song.  I’m going to drop some lyrics on you, all of which are from this song. “And yeah, your body looks so sick/I think I caught the flu”.  “You’re drop dead beautiful”.   “You’re some kind of fine.” “You must be B-I-G cuz you got me hypnotized” “Whoever said that beauty’s on the inside is a liar.”  “Steam me like like a pot full of vegetables” “I don’t need your money, I just want your D”.  I wasn’t looking for poetry but Jesus Christ this is bad.  The production value declines throughout the album as well.  “Big Fat Bass” has the most misleading title ever.  Produced by will.i.am, this track employs the most timid sounding kick drum sample, while telling the listener to “prepare for the kick drum”.

    A disappointment to say the least, the haphazard songwriting leads to songs that you can’t really dance to, don’t really want to sing along to, and feel weird listening to.  The only place it really pics up is on “Trouble For Me”, where I found myself actually digging the intro synth line and chorus melody, but other than that this album is a downward spiral.  3.8 Femmes Fataled out of 10.

FAVE TRACKS: Till the World Ends, Trouble for Me

Worship the office building

A Place To Bury Strangers: Worship Review


Album: Worship
Band: A Place To Bury Strangers
Genre: Noise-rock/Post-punk Revival


6.8/10


Every night before he goes to bed Oliver Ackermann (guitarist/singer/songwriter for A Place to Bury Strangers) kneels down and says his prayers to Joy Division’s late great Ian Curtis.  “Help me express my angst using the medium of post-punk and noise.  Help me to sing in a droning moan that evokes absolute despair in all who hear it.  In Shoegaze’s name I pray, Amen.”  The third release from the noise-rockin’ Nine Inch Nail’s openin’ modern shoegaze act A Place to Bury Strangers is aptly named Worship because their music is the ultimate tribute to bands like New Order, Joy Division, and My Bloody Valentine.  Newcomers to this band will hear this record and think it noisy, haunting, and brooding, but in actuality this is the band’s tamest release by far.

     That’s not to say that there aren’t crazy noises still infecting these songs.  Ackermann’s near encyclopedic knowledge of guitar effects still shines through on every track, but this LP as a whole takes a step back, perhaps to assess the future of the band’s sound, the name of their last release was Exploding Head for chrissakes.  Songs like “Mind Control”, “Revenge”, and “Leaving Tomorrow’ still burst with glorious squeals and echoes.  “Revenge” pounds the skull.  I found myself tapping fast eight notes along with the bass drum, rejoicing in the noise.  But the other tracks actually have atmospheric qualities, with the guitar toned down, the bursts of sound more controlled.  The track “Fear” has the guitar drop out completely, with echoes jumping in and out as the bass plays a precise line.  “Dissolved” leans closer to dreampop than to noise rock.  The track goes silent around the 3:30 mark and what sounds like an entirely new song begins, with a CLEAN tone.  It reminded me of the last album I reviewed, Oshin.  It matches the song’s name however; the song dissolves into nothing before coming back in completely new.

       A new sonic direction can have it’s drawbacks, though.  With the restrained tone from the instruments, Ackermann’s vocals are more pronounced, and it yields very mixed results.  His Ian Curtis-style monotone is a cool effect during verses and is an awesome texture with certain noisy songs, but on this record the vocals seem more lazy than brooding.  On certain songs I don’t really detect the emotion portrayed through the instruments and lyrics.  On “Why Can’t I Cry Anymore” his vocals are just short of spoken, and the answer becomes clear, it’s because he’s become a robot, and robots can’t cry.  On “Slide” Ackermann attempts to hit notes on the top of his range, not unsuccessfully, but weirdly.

    Then there are the lyrics, it may not sound like it, but this is almost a breakup album, with songs like “Alone”, “You Are the One”, “Fear”, “Dissolved”, and “Revenge” all blatantly griping about lost love.  Most of these lyrics are fine, but that’s just it, they’re fine.  With the vocals more pronounced than ever, I hoped that I would find some quotable lines, but I just found a lot of sadness expressed very clearly.   “Slide” contains a line that I think stands out because it defies the hopelessness of the rest of the album: “Ever since I was a little boy/I had a lust to live/I wouldn’t be so insecure/Except there’s oxygen.”

      It’s very song-to-song for me.  There are great cuts like “Mind Control”, “Fear”, and “Leaving Tomorrow”, and there’s head-scratchers like ‘Why Can’t I Cry Anymore” and “Alone”.  This album may or may not be worth a download or purchase, depending on how big of a fan you are, and I would recommend listening to their debut LP before listening to this, but there’s definitely some cool stuff going on here.  I'll give it 6.8 strangers buried out of 10.

FAVE TRACKS: Mind Control, Fear, Leaving Tomorrow

DIIV: Oshin Review

Where the wild things are?

Album: Oshin
Artist: DIIV
Genre: Dream-pop/Post-punk


8.4/10




You wanna get into dreampop?  Listen to Oshin by DIIV.  This debut LP from ex-Beach Fossils guitarist’s new project DIIV (pronounced “dive”) manages to create a sound that is solidly dreampop, but has roots in rock and post-punk.  Each songs builds upon an actual, dare I say it, groove, while the vocals both mesh and fly above the instruments, specifically the reverb-tastic guitar lines.

     The album begins with an instrumental named “(Drunn)”, which is basically the topic sentence in the paragraph that is Oshin.  “(Drunn)” starts off strong with a steady drumbeat and looping bass line that propels the song.  The guitars enter and layer on top of each other, shaping guitar lines and solos on top of each other until the track almost has a uniform sound, and this dynamic continues through the next two songs “Past Lives” and “Human”.  Then I hit “Air Conditioning”, the album’s longest song at 4 minutes 30 seconds, a solitary tone swells, and the bass comes in with a simple riff that descends and then ascends before resolving itself every measure.  A guitar comes in and builds off of that line, before another guitar comes in to craft a melody from that line before heading into a near-entire-song-lasting solo, interrupted by a haunting and shimmering vocal line.  “How Long Have You Known” is another track that executes repetition well, this time with the vocals as well.  This is the clearest track in terms of lyrics: “How long have you known?/How long have you shown it?/Forever?/Forever.”  This chorus repeats and swells, the questions seemingly lost within a sea of sounds.  This pattern of melodic textures building on top of bass and drum grooves continues throughout the entire album.

       The last two songs on this record are also the best also the hard to discern vocal lines are crafted on purpose.  “Doused” begins with an almost heavy bass line that drives the hardest out of all the songs on this LP.  It’s the darkest track, with the melody taking a more minor key direction and the drums more prevalent.  “Home” sings a soothing and resolving mantra: “I’ll never have a home/Until you come home”.  Oshin is a journey across an ocean, an ocean of love, an ocean of fear, but most importantly an ocean of sound.  DIIV does not want you to focus too hard on the lyrics, the themes they want to express lay within the melodies, the textures, the sounds.  That’s where the beauty lies.  Their dive gets an 8.4 from me.

FAVE TRACKS: (Drunn) Part 2, Air Conditioning, How Long Have You Known, Doused, Home